Day Nine

Day 9

We got up the next morning.  Ann took a shower, packed and then, the luxury of Kennebunkport so close she could smell it, said, "Let's get out of this hellhole!"  She had a twinkle in her eye when she said it.  I know that what she really meant to say when you get to the core of her feelings was, "Let's get out of this hellhole!"

I had a quick breakfast of pancakes (because we hadn't yet had enough carbs), bacon (because there is never too much bacon), and delicious scones made by the awesome female staff member (see parenthetical above re carbs).  Ann picked at a scone and watched in awe as I inhaled the pancakes.  We said goodbye to Fred, Cindy and the nice staff and headed off to Kennebunkport.

What is striking about northern Maine is how dirt poor it is.  There are pockets of relative prosperity (canoe stores, coffee shops, real estate brokers) around tourist areas like Moosehead Lake, but in general it is very impoverished.  Interestingly, the impoverished Mainers in this area do not have enough money to shingle the roof or fix the broken windows in their houses but seem to have plenty of money for snowmobiles, boats and ATVs.  We saw one family of enormous, toothless people riding six ATVs across the road to their house, which had a caved-in roof.

On the way south to Kennebunkport I challenged Ann to a new punching game--Subarus.  People in New England are crazy about Subarus.  I think if you did a pie chart of the average New Englander's brain you would find that about a third of it is given over to Subarus--exceeded only by Dunkin' Donuts and the Red Sox which takes up the other two thirds.  I was pretty good at the Subaru punching game and Ann very quickly claimed that her shoulder was getting black and blue, that I was acting immature and that, once again, she was a delicate flower.  What a buzz kill.

Typical New England Subaru (Democrat Version)

Donuts for Votes Scandal in New England

They start them early!

We drove for several hours through beautiful scenery and poverty before coming to Kennebunkport.  At Kennebunkport the poverty quickly gave way to wealth, as evidenced by lots of large waterfront summer houses, nice restaurants, art galleries and jewelry shops.  Ann had found us a nice hotel on the water near the harbor.  She seemed happy with the pillows, sheets, fancy bathroom, etc.

The hotel had canoes that we could take out and paddle around the harbor.  After unpacking we hopped in a canoe and explored the harbor.  On the way back to the hotel, a huge tourist boat that took up most of the channel was coming upstream while we were going downstream.  Ann took this to mean that we and our canoe would be run over, crushed and ground up in the propeller of the tourist boat and the only way out of our predicament was for her to freak out and start yelling at her husband.  Apparently it worked because the tourist boat passed by us harmlessly and the captain gave us a friendly wave.

The Harbor from our Hotel

When we got back to the hotel we decided to go on a walk around town.  We walked down the east side of the harbor to the waterfront, checking out restaurant menus on the way.  We then wandered through a beautiful neighborhood of classic old summer homes near the water, ultimately ending up at a nice inn overlooking Walker Point where the Bush family summers. 

We stopped on our way back at the Colony Inn, a big old hotel with a pool overlooking the water and had lunch on their terrace.  There was a wedding taking place on the lawn while we were eating lunch.  The bride was pretty but a little on the stocky side.  Ann noticed that the bride's mother, father, uncles and aunts were enormous and, even if you graded them on a curve for their size, were just downright unsightly.  The grandfather seemed to be clutching a bottle of Crown Royal whiskey.  Part of me wanted to yell over the railing to the groom to run while there was still time, but it seemed inappropriate somehow, what with the bride coming down the aisle and all.  I decided I was not my brother's keeper and enjoyed my lunch.

Dude! Run!

After lunch we wandered into the commercial part of town and looked at a couple of galleries and tourist shops.  I bought Ann a nice sterling silver necklace which made her happy (temporarily).  After shopping we went back to the hotel, took a short nap, then had a drink on the lawn outside our room facing the harbor.

Right in front of us there was a big, massively overpowered outboard with two inflatable motorboats that looked like they belonged in a James Bond movie.  I went over for closer inspection and saw that the inflatables had Secret Service markings on them.  The dock boy then confirmed that the big outboard belonged to President Bush senior.  This boat had three three hundred horsepower Mercurys on it.  With nine hundred horsepower I figured this boat could easily go 80 miles per hour.  I doubt seriously whether the Secret Service boats could keep up if George wanted to lose them, especially if there was any chop on the water—the inflatables would go airborne.

George HW Bush's 900 HP Boat and Secret Service Boats

After cocktails we went to the Striper restaurant up the road and had a delicious meal of fried oysters on the half shell, fresh fish and a bottle of sauvignon blanc.  This was our last night before heading home to face the music at the office.  Went to bed happy.

The next morning it was raining.  We got a small breakfast at the hotel and got on the road to Logan.  Had an uneventful trip home followed by a joyous reunion with Daisy.

Thus ended another eventful vacation.